this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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