No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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