My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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