apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
