ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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