you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
