I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
