That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
