he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
