I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
