Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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