i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize