I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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