Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
