I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
