That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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