Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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