You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
