Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
