Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
