I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
are you so shy because you have an std?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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