I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
