i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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