So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
