You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
