so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize