I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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