but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
