I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
