Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
