fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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