He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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