Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
