i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
