I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I need moral support for this bender
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
