Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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