Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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