gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
