No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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