90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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