You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
