Me. At least after what I've been through.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
