FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
