its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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