Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
