I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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