this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
