The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I pour the whiskey from now on
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
