One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
