Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
