If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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