Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
