some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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