eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
