yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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