UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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