You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
