I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
