woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
