He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
