Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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